11.15.2011

While others majored in Finance, I earned a PhD in Resilience...


Writing a resume for me is one of the most difficult things to do.  To be honest, I feel like it's such an inaccurate representation of who I am professionally, and it sure as hell doesn't capture my personality.

Sure, I have skills that can be developed, I'm intelligent enough to comprehend pretty much any "how-to" PDF or video that's out there to get the job done - but just because I can, it doesn't necessarily mean I want to.  Perhaps I'm selfish, stubborn, or even lazy.  Bottom line is, after living most of my life working my ass off to make ends meet or to somehow lessen a heavy burden on a single mother I adore (most of the time), if I'm given a choice as to how or where or with whom I exert my effort and talent, I make sure it's meaningful.

I may not have time for everything or everyone, but what I would do for my friends, family, and a great idea, can't really be calculated or accurately conveyed on a resume.

I recently read an article from hbr.org that described how invaluable it is to have resilience.  My life has been a never-ending roller coaster ride.  Why do I love Hawaii so much?  From the moment I was born in Honolulu, I was loved and cared for by my family unconditionally and blissfully unaware of conflict for a total of 4 straight years!  Then, we moved across oceans, from apartment to apartment, from one state to another, finally settling down in Atlanta, Georgia.  Since Hawaii, I've never lived in one home for more than 2 years.

And.. I just spent 10 minutes recalling each home I've lived in, and I'm surprised to say that I am living in my 22nd home.  Should I dare count how many jobs I've had since I started working as an 11-year-old cashier on weekends at the retail stores my mom managed?  Omg, my brain hurts.

What does this do to a person?  It makes him or her resilient.

These last few months are a perfect example of the kind of "luck" I've had my entire life.  It's always something upsetting and terrible that happens followed by a suspiciously positive outcome.  Last Thursday, the apartment building located literally on the other side of my bedroom wall (not attached) went up in flames and is now a pile of rubble.  I watched it burn, and was ready to accept that my apartment would be next.  But not even a week later, I'm comfortably sitting on my couch, in my first apartment on my own (with no roommates), listening to my music, writing up this blog post.

Another example?  Sure!

After getting rear-ended almost 2 months ago, I've struggled with neck/back pain, car repairs taking a month, but the settlement paid for the very nice MacBook Pro I'm using right now, which was luckily about 33% off the normal retail price.  Then, just last Saturday, I backed up into a pole in an apartment parking deck, total damage costing about 2 G's.  What may seem like a typical careless accident was actually different due to the unique context.  The passenger in my car when all this went down was a certain someone who successfully kept me interested longer than most... We had just met and were trying to coordinate late night chow time, and ended up in his parking deck to guide his carpool of friends to their cars.

He told me to sit tight, and he'd be right back.  I was ready to bail... I wanted to crawl under my covers, fall asleep, and never wake up to face this level of embarrassment.  That didn't happen.  Instead, this lovely individual came back and consoled me with stories of his own mistakes... the kind of accidents that resulted from a split second of misjudgment.  Over tea, hummus, and pita I resolved to move on and be thankful that no one was hurt, I didn't get a DUI, and I didn't hit another parked car (Not to mention the nice warm feelings associated with this certain someone... ).

Having been through much worse than what I just described, I'm slightly indifferent.  I shrug my shoulders, smile, and move on.  I remember when I took these things personally, and I was miserable because I kept wanting to find some relief and escape from chaos, misfortune, and tiresome work.  Now, I wouldn't dare escape from what I have going on in my life because there's meaning in my relationships, my endeavors, as well as my struggles.

To close, a quote...

"As we see, the priority stays with creatively changing the situation that causes us to suffer. But the superiority goes to the 'know-how to suffer,' if need be. . ."  -Victor Frankl

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