My Little Sister - Part 2

When I first met Sharon, I thought... "How adorable!"  She was quiet and shy, and so busy trying to hide in her thoughts.  I knew immediately that the way she understood her surroundings was much different than the rest of the youth girls.  The environment we interacted in was structured, "happy", and extremely eager.  Sharon and I were both submersed into a small, tight-knit, church community--voluntarily for me, somewhat involuntarily for her--after a seemingly never-ending cycle of chaos, damage control, and a constant nagging that prompted, "why me?" in the more unfortunate circumstances.

Although I am not as cognizant of the time line of our sisterhood, I do remember making a commitment to never end my pursuit of her.  She resisted my affections for a couple years.  I'd say, "I love you Sharon!" and then her response would be a mere, "okay."  I would just smile and say it over and over again until she hung up.  We had our heated conversations about deep, life-changing beliefs, and we shared our laughs while listening to random pop songs in my car when I picked her up to hang out.  

One main thing we have in common is that we are two very expressive people.  If we didn't have that outlet, we would both be severely self-destructive.  I am an artist, and so is she... she writes beautiful poetry, plays the violin, dances, hugs, and smiles brighter than the sun!  When she's excited, it's so contagious!  Oh my, did I mention she makes a bunch of delicious goodies for me??  

I opened up to her more and more, as she became mature enough to relate to me less as an official "mentor" at a religious institution, but more as a real life, bonded-by-blood kinda sister.  Wow... I absolutely loved her honesty.  I tried my best to gently get rid of the idealized version of me, knowing she was comfortable seeing me as a saint.  I wanted her to develop tolerance for others, in a way that is loving and encouraging, because it's intolerance and impatience that hinders people from connecting with each other on a more deeper, spiritual level.  Our conversations allowed me to come to terms with the real me in so many ways as well.  

As I was pleasantly surprised by her recent post regarding our relationship, I've been trying to figure out how to sum up our relationship from my point of view.  I feel as if there's always more I can do for her... and that feeling all boils down to this:  I never ever want anyone to feel as alone as I've often felt growing up the way I did. 

And though she often wouldn't let me be there for her in ways I thought she'd want or need, she claims to have learned so much from me.  How is that even possible??  I will never know.  However, what I do know is that I love her dearly, and I am so damn proud of her.  :)